There is amazing joy with both my daughter and autistic son. There is also sadness and fear. Joy when our family is together experiencing life and fun. Sadness and fear when my daughter is upset because her brother is having a meltdown and I can’t seem to fix it or help it.
It’s wonderful and indescribably full of love and hugs. It’s difficult and indescribably frustrating when my child, one of my hearts can’t sort through the sensory output around him to express calmly how he feels or what he needs.
It’s easy to be lost in the sadness and fear. Sadness over feeling lost, without any control and powerless. Fear of meltdowns and being hurt again and again.
No matter how many triumphs and great mommy things I do, there seems to be double that in failures. Today was a losing day. A feeling like a bad mom today. A crying day.
I won’t give up on either child, myself, my spouse or our family! I will continue to share love and will try to be patient!
That is what I have to remember! Today was tough but tomorrow is full of possibility!
Off to attempt dreamland.
Love, Family, Kids & ❤️ 